I also noticed that the back end of most autos are not big and gaudy like the fronts. This made me form a relationship between the back ends of autos, and the back ends of women. Today small is desirable for both.

So large fronts and small ends. Yep, that about sums up women these days: large breasts and small bottoms. I would be curious to know if the majority of large front-end auto designers are male. It would be an interesting research topic.

My memory immediately traveled back to August 1997 when Dad and I were vacationing in England. We were driving north to Scotland from London. As we were driving on the highway, I saw a sign that read “Sherwood Forest.” “Hey,” I said, “Let’s stop and see Sherwood Forest.” Of course I was thinking of the Robin Hood folklore. But Dad didn’t want any of it. He was on a mission to reach northern England by nightfall, so we continued on our journey.

So basically I drove past the town that my ancestors are from, not even realizing it. My whole life I have wanted to visit the birthplaces of my ancestors and I unwittingly drove right past one of them! Are you serious?!

Junior will be leaving for his two-year mission sometime next summer. Since I was once a missionary, I have always felt that I won’t be a blubbering mother come the day he enters the MTC. But after the feeling I had the other day, I’m not so sure anymore. Even though I know what it’s like for him to attend college away from home, and even though I know what it’s like to serve a mission, I guess that–in the end–I’m still a mother. I will be a blubbering fool with red, swollen eyes along with all the other red, swollen-eyed mothers dropping their children off at the MTC curb. Sigh.

Either we will experience a terrible drought this year, or we’ll eventually pay for lack of snow…which is usually the case (i.e. snow in May). Of course we don’t want the former because we rely on snowpack for our water.

But when I saw today that snow is forecast for Saturday, I was a little disappointed. Even though my rational mind tells me that we need the moisture, my emotional mind yearns for the sun and the warmth. It lifts my spirit. Silly fickle humans we are.

We’ve had an inversion for about two weeks straight this month. Last night the news reported an upcoming story: The Inversion of 2011! Are you kidding me? It hasn’t even been that bad. When you drive about, you can still see several miles away. When you’re on a mountain bench, you can still see quite a ways out into the valleys. Silly. Then, we have been warned that this inversion will stay for at least a few more weeks. There will be no moisture! We need the moisture! Guess what we woke up to this morning? A snow storm. Uh huh.

Last winter they touted The Blizzard of 2010! That was the most ridiculous hype we have experienced in a while. We were supposed to experience this horrible blizzard that would keep us all indoors and wreak havoc on the roads. There was nothing. There was some blustery wind, but there wasn’t even any snow. There was one area that experienced some snow and high winds. That was it. We were all so unimpressed. It was a joke.

The media has become so high drama, so reality-TV based, that I find it hard to stomach anymore. Please, just give me the facts. That’s all I want. Leave the dramatization to Hollywood.

So I’m perplexed when I see women–usually in their twenties–with beautiful, creamy, unmarred skin sporting tattoos up and down their arms and all over their backs and chests. And who knows where else. Why? Why are they marking up a wonderful gift that they have been given? Do they not know that those tattoos are forever, and that even if they choose to have them “removed” in the future, their skin will not be what it was? It will show scars of previous tattoos.

If I had beautiful skin like these women do, I would slather it with sunscreen, I would moisturize it, I would show it off. I would protect it. I wouldn’t be embarrassed about wearing a sleeveless top or short skirt, let alone a swimsuit. I would totally appreciate my skin and take good care of it. But I guess that’s the lesson here. We never appreciate what we have, unless we lose it.

So what advice do you give your daughter who is in the throes of another high-drama incident? I wish I knew what to tell her to make her feel better. Unfortunately, what I tell her doesn’t really calm her. It starts with: be patient; be kind; be the nice friend; give her the benefit of the doubt; remember that hormones control females. Those phrases evolve to: being kind doesn’t mean you have to be her friend. That phrase evolves to: she won’t change; stay away from her; find new friends. And finally, out of desperation the cold, hard fact comes out: it never changes. The drama today will be there tomorrow and next week and next month and next year. The faces will change, but the drama will stay the same. Sigh.

I have tried to get off Diet Coke once before, about a year ago. After thirty days of increased food consumption and gained weight, I got mad and went back to drinking it because—face it—Diet Coke is a good appetite suppressant. But my addiction grew and I was consuming it on a daily basis.

Last week an acquaintance told me that she got off the poison and has been off for three months. She feels great! Her headaches are gone, she doesn’t experience heart palpitations anymore, she has more energy, she sleeps better… Hmmm, it all sounded too familiar.

So I decided right then to get off Diet Coke again. I haven’t had a drop of the poisonous elixir for nine days. And I am feeling the pain. I wondered if there is Diet Coke detox effects, and sure enough, after Googling it, I found a website with some very interesting comments from other people about the health effects they are facing through diet drink detoxification. Notice I didn’t specify Diet Coke. Nope, it’s any diet drink that uses the common ingredient of Aspartame.

I don’t care what the FDA and their studies say. If there are many people out there experiencing the same problems by using the same product, then there is something wrong with that product. And anyways, wasn’t it the U.S. government that included tobacco in their military rations to servicemen during WWI? I rest my case.

Update: After three weeks off the poison, my stomach is flatter, my love handles are smaller, and my headaches are not constant.

Also, take into consideration that I stretched out 2 minutes of raw footage (so roughly 1 minute of actual footage) into 3 and a half minutes of movie time. Enjoy